


ultimate enemy

by qyff



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, not dantei!!!, pier is exhausted and abaven is just along for the ride, who thought it was a good idea to have arthing and hollow in the same kitchen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24784987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qyff/pseuds/qyff
Summary: They've been through so much together. Every ordeal they've faced, every trauma they've had to go through, they made it through. But there's a breaking point to everything, and this might be it.Pier never should have let them all into the kitchen.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	ultimate enemy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [daydozy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydozy/gifts).



You would think, as an emperor, that you would have some sort of authority. Pier wasn’t one to abuse his power- he found the thought revolting- but it was hard to not want to create some sort of royal decree, some sort of law, requirement, anything if it meant getting these people out of the kitchen. 

“It’s not that bad,” Hollow starts, as he dumps yet another smoking pan into an already full tub of water. “I’m pretty sure it could get worse.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of- I know you all have the capacity to make this,” Pier gestures to the mess in the room, the piles of dishes, the frosting on the walls, “Even more of a disaster than it already is.” 

“I’m so, so sorry Lord Pier. I should’ve stopped them.” Practically crying at this point, Dantei is stuck on dishwashing duty- he sends another quick glare to Hollow as the pans once again pile up, but quickly returns to scrubbing. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure everything is neat once again. I’ll put my blood, sweat, and tears into this.”

“Dantei, we have machines and magic for that.” 

“No amount of magic can get these scorches out.” 

“Is it really that-”

“Burn ‘em through.”

“Arthing! You’re a part of the problem!” Dantei snaps, still focused on the dishes. “Keep the temperature the same! I set it there for a reason, leave the oven alone!”

“Sorry. It’s just…” Arthing’s hand twitches over the knob. “Sorry.” 

“...What do you want to say-”

“Yeah, what stupid words are gonna come out of your mouth?”

“If it needs to be four hundred and fifty degrees for ten minutes, then just by doing the math, we could have this done in a single minute if I just raise the temperature. ”

“...Aren’t you supposed to be smart?”

“Hollow, shut up.”

“Sorry.”

“Go take a smoke break, Arthing. The cookies will still be there.” 

“Okay.” 

“Yeah, go do that. We’ll be more productive without you here.” 

Arthing rolls his eyes, before heading out the door. 

“Hollow- you’ve done almost nothing yourself. Get back to working on the dough.”

“...Whoops. On it.” 

Next to him, Abaven softly laughs. “Sorry, Milord.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” And that’s the truth. Despite how stupid his friends are… well, things are better now. 

“Other than the fact that we completely trashed your kitchen? Or that you might have to replace half of the cookware? And even not for the giant waste of ingredients this is going to end up being?” Abaven holds a piping bag out- filled with blue frosting, the thing is filled to the brim. It’s also covered in other colors; Abaven’s hands are messy, and the bag is no different. “Here. You can decorate with the blue.” 

He turns back to the cookies that managed to scathe by only marginally burnt. Although, maybe being burnt and thrown out would have been favorable. The cookies that survived range from being slathered with a mess of colors, to being completely broken. Arthing’s cookies didn’t survive the oven. Dantei’s have little faces on them- very cute. What should be Hollow’s cookies are still in dough form, as Hollow is too busy bothering Dantei to work. Abaven’s working diligently on a cookie now, but Pier can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a tortured soul, or a frog. 

“Right. Of course.” 

He’s not sure what to make. There’s a blank canvas in front of him- various shapes of cookie blobs to choose from, and yet it might be the fact that he has all the freedom in the world to choose that makes his decision so hard. In the end, he decides to make a little cat. Grabbing the neatest looking circle, he starts to frost.

There’s something calming about it. He’s able to drown out his worries. Abaven is starting to hum next to him, some song that he can’t recognize. Even Dantei’s furious scrubbing has become white noise, almost comforting in just his presence. 

Maybe everything is alright. Sure, there’s a mess someone has to clean up, but it’s the little moments like these that matter.

Then the door opens, and Arthing comes back from his smoke break.

“Are the cookies all done-”

“Hey! Shitbag!” 

Four pairs of eyes turn to the flying mass of dough, tracking it to it’s ultimate destination- Arthing’s face. It slides down, falling to the ground with a soft plop. The room is silent, except for Hollow’s laughter, which quickly fades as everyone stares at him. 

Arthing smiles. 

Wordlessly, Abaven passes the frosting he’s holding to the dough victim, who takes it a bit too eagerly. “Don’t get me caught up in this.”

“Of course.” 

And it all goes down from there.

\-------

“I’m not mad, just disappointed.” Pier is standing in front of the other four, who are all crouching by the wall. He starts tapping his foot. “In what world did you think this was a good idea?”

“...”

“I’m so sorry milord….”

“He started it-”

“I mean, your ugly face started it-”

“Hollow!”

“What? I’m right.”

“You all…” Pier rubs his temples. “You’re all adults. This behavior is unacceptable.”

Hollow mutters something, as Arthing starts to fidget. “It’s not that bad…”

“There’s soap on the ceiling! How did soap get on the ceiling!” 

“Well, that’s Dantei’s fault- Ow!”

Abaven hushes Hollow. “If you didn’t throw that dough in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened!”

“Well, Arthing had already made a mess when he started burning all those cookies! And you helped him out by giving him that frosting- It’s all in my hair now…”

“Don’t bring Abaven into this now.”

“Am I wrong?”

“I’m going to beat the shit out of you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Pier glances over at Arthing, who shrugs. “I did what I did.”

He sighs. This was a mess. But what could you even expect when it came to this group. Years of experience, of overcoming obstacles, and yet they were defeated by the horrible ordeal of making cookies.

“Well, you’re all going to have to clean this up anyways.”

A chorus of protests.

“Are you going against me?”

“Sorry milord…”

Really, he shouldn’t have expected anything. At the very least, he gets some sort of satisfaction watching everyone shuffle around the room, tidying up. Pier takes a bit out of his cookie.

...It’s not bad. Charred, but not the worst thing he’s ever had to eat. With a little practice, maybe everyone could become master cookie makers. It’s a shame that he’ll never let them do this over again.

**Author's Note:**

> happ.... borth.... day ily hope everything goes poggers today-


End file.
